Last Sunday, June 19th, marked Dave and my 12th wedding anniversary! We've been together way longer- 19 years but it took some prodding to get him to walk down the aisle. As we all know by now I can be pretty persistent to get what I want and eventually he buckled just as he did with this house project- Good boy. If you ask Dave now, getting married was the best thing that ever happened to him. I will not deny that fact! Oh, and he likes the house too.
Dave and I met on Nantucket at a friend's 30th birthday party which is all I will tell you. After that I would go out to the island to visit my cousin and a friend. I knew that Dave was a night owl and he would eventually turn up at the Chicken Box at midnight. Lo and behold I would be there every other Saturday. He never really figured out that I was there to see him- some people can be pretty clueless. OK, a girl from CT shows up on an island every other Saturday- coincidence????? He was a little dense but eventually he figured out that I liked him and we began to actually date instead of just run into each other.
Over the course of our relationship we got involved in Revolutionary war reenacting. Dave belonged to Glover's Regiment when he was a small boy in Marblehead MA.
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| The powder monkey of Glovers Regiment 1976 Brooklyn NY |
I had never heard of this subculture of people who dressed in funny clothes and sat in fields all weekend living like it was the year 1776. But when you are young (well, maybe not so young) and in love you will try anything to move the relationship forward. So, eager to get started we joined a regiment and fell into the reenacting world. It was wonderful- it got me out of my mom's house and into a new world for which to immerse myself. We joined Delancey's Regiment first batallion which is a loyalist group, and a darn fun collection of people. Anyway, we traveled all over creation on weekends for quite a few years and many of these places would have been perfect venues for a proposal. A particularly good place would have been one evening on top of the Fort at the Fortress Louisburg in Nova Scotia. I mentioned it to Dave years later and he admitted that it would have been good. Had he thought of it!
He did finally think of proposing but I have to say it came off a little odd and I wasn't entirely sure what he meant. It went like this- it was around Christmas time and we were having a hard time getting to see one another because of the weather (you know cars and boats and snow don't mix). Dave thought it was fun to give me clues as to what my gift would be. He gave me 3 clues which I pondered for a few weeks. Clue 1: it was red; clue 2: it was voluminous and clue 3: it was in 2 boxes. I arrived on the island ready for my gift- hoping that it was what I had been wishing for. When the time was finally here to open said present- it did in fact came in 2 boxes, one being a gift box and the other a beautiful ring box. Inside I found the lovely red garnet ring that I had envied at a Sutler's shop at an encampment the previous fall (he had given me a squished up claddagh ring that he found in the road one year. I wore it for a few years but thought if he wasn't going to ever marry me could he at least buy me a nice ring to wear?!?). It is a reproduction of an 18th ce mourning ring (appropriate for an engagement ring if you are mourning the single life!). I waited to see if there was more to this present than just the ring. I looked at the beautiful ring on my finger and I asked if there was something I should tell people if they asked about my new ring. He looked down and muttered "you can tell them we're gonna"..... I asked "gonna what?".... he said "well, get married". I said "really? You mean I can tell my Mom?" and he quietly said "yes". For someone that was reluctant to take that step, this meant a lot! It wasn't sky writing or a down on one knee sort of proposal but good enough for me! When he went into the bathroom (probably to throw up), I called my friend at the lab and told her that I thought that I was engaged but not 100% sure about it. She said to just assume that the case until it turned out otherwise.
The plan for an 18th century wedding swung into full tilt with my friend Gail offering to make my dress and a few other outfits as well! Every Wednesday for a year I went to Gail's to sew and stayed overnight. It was quite a production and I got to sew the parts of the garment that no one would see. Not that I am a bad seamstress but Gail is superb. Dave had his British Naval lieutenant's suit made by Henry Cooke a museum grade tailor in MA. Thoroughly researched every detail down to the rosettes on the buttons.
For the wedding reception and to house some of our guests we rented a large house located mid-island that was being built for functions- weddings, family reunions etc. There were 15 bedrooms all with their own bathrooms, a large porch and surrounding yard. Since we were the first to rent the house and it really wasn't quite finished yet we got a good rate for the long weekend (I deemed it the "Flop House"). There was a bit of sprucing up to do in it's unfinished state. First we needed to remove all the construction equipment and next spiffy up the yard since they had yet to plant the trees and there has a huge dirt pile. So we took the bundled trees and moved them close to the porch where they screened the unsightly piles. No one can ever claim that I was a fussy bride! The night before the wedding "the mommies (my friends with small kiddies)" and I scoured the island with flashlights, boat bags and clippers in hand to cut flowers from fields, yards and the rose bushes in from of the Cottage Hospital. These flowers came in handy to add to the garlands for the 18th ce tents and food platters. Our escapade extended our meager wedding budget for flowers.
All our guests at the Flop house had tasks- sewing buttons onto clothing, putting together the wedding programs, agonized whether my mom would ever frost the wedding cake (more about that later). Some made garlanding for the tents. You didn't just "show up" to our wedding you were immersed in it! All the while Kevin and Kimball, our reenactor friends, would burst into 18th century song and have everyone sing.
Here are some pictures of the event-
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| A nip to calm the nerves??? |
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| OK, now I'm ready! |
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| Harpsichordist R.P. Hale |
We flew in R.P. Hale from New Hampshire for the event. He brought his handmade harpsichord and hammer dulcimer for the occasion. No traditional here comes the bride for us!
The ceremony was at the Congregational Church. But not in the big part of the church but instead in the vestry since it was built in 1711. It was a darling little space with an aisle that took one second for me to race down (I'd waited for this day long enough and I was going to get to the alter fast!).
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| Marriage ceremony in the vestry circa 1711 of the Congregational church on Nantucket |
We used the 18th century wedding vows from the Book of Common Prayer. Much to Dave's dismay our minister did take out the part where it says that the woman was the "weaker vessel".
After 7 long years, we were finally married!
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| The perfect wedding kiss- not too long and not too short! |
After the ceremony, we all piled out of the church. The funny thing was that it was the same weekend as the first Nantucket Film festival so people had no idea if it was a real wedding or a play of some sort.
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| The happy Smith's! |
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| The Thorne/ Swebillius women |
The guests were a collection of people with half being reenactors who dressed the part and the other half seemed very preppy in blue blazers and khaki pants! These lovely ladies- my friend Phyllis (center), her sister June (right) and daughter Hannah (left) brought out their large repro 18th ce tents for us to use as a tavern and food tent. Totally made the mood at the reception!
The photographer had a great time trying to arrange us all for photos. The wide 18th century dresses did not allow us to stand too close together and the hats in the group photo presented quite the challenge not to block people's faces with brims or feathers. Not your usual problem at a photo shoot!
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| It's hard to arrange all these wide dresses for a picture. The hats were even worse! |
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| Peter and Melissa looking very colonial |
Every bride and groom who marries on the island has to get a photo at the Brant Point Lighthouse. Not everyone goes in a horse drawn carriage wearing these getups though!
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| The newly married couples always have pictures at Brant Point Lighthouse |
We made a grand entrance to the reception with a brisk gallop onto the field!
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| Arriving at reception in horse drawn carriage- what else would you expect? |
Meanwhile the tavern was in full swing! Kimball and Kevin sang until I think 3 am!
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| Kevin and Kimball singing as usual. Bill Ha Ha as bar keep. |
For some reason Kevin thought it would be great fun to speak with an accent all night. People asked who my British friend was and I said "who, Thomas- he's German" but they said no- that guy. I said he wasn't British at all!
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| There is no one more fun to hang out with than Kevin and Kimball. |
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| Tavern with garlands of clipped flowers :-) |
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| I think this could be my favorite wedding picture. |
The wedding cake has a story of it's own. My mom made the cake at home and brought it out to the island. When I picked her up at the boat she wasn't there. I looked behind to the freight boat and there my family seemed to be exiting. In all the years I've been going to the island I never have taken the freight boat. How the hell they did is still a mystery! I asked mom where the cake was.... well in the old suit cases of course! The cake remained in the refrigerator unfrosted for 2 days. We would all look at it and wonder what it's fate was- frosting or would we have no cake? Did I care???? The night before the wedding my friends and I tried to calculate how many cans of frosting would it take for 3 tiers? Eventually the morning of the wedding the cake was frosted! It was a little heavy handed with the embelishments. Come to find out someone had moved the cake frosting tips and instead my mom used a cookie press- oh well. The next phase of worry came with the real flowers that would adorn the cake. I decided it would do me no good to worry about it at that point. If there was no cake- so be it. But the cake arrived laden with blossoms. My mother leans over to my sister-in law and thanked her for finishing the cake, but she wasn't the elf that did it. Not sure who actually flowered the cake but I have some ideas.... We cut the cake using Dave's cutlass. Worked pretty well!
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| Martha Stewart's Orange Almond Cake a la Mary Kirkiles |
R.P Hale led English Country Dancing for us with music from his dulcimer. We had no idea what the hell we were doing plus after 13 rum punch toasts most people were schnockered! Some people I never saw again until the next day since they were passed out somewhere!
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| English Country Dancing |
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| I think we laughed more than we danced! |
For those not wanting to make fools of themselves with the dancing, we had a mean game of croquet. Drunken croquet was a theme at many of my friend's weddings. This particular game was interesting since someone went up over the berm and fell down. Another person in the fire department tried to rescue her and tossed her over his shoulder only to fall on a rock and gash her head. It's always something!
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| Drunken croquet- a theme at many a wedding. Only one person got injured! |
The rest of the evening was a blurr of drink and song. We had made up "hymnals" with the words to many an 18th century song. We had bunches of cressets illuminating the tents to set the tavern mood. It was quite picturesque and fun until Francie's hair caught on fire- Another theme of our parties.
12 years later- people are still talking about how fun our wedding was. I'd have to agree!
