Toasting Egrets....

Mom in her Buck Roger's outfit- probably 3 years old?

I am writing today's post more for myself than any of you following along.  July 31st marks the third anniversary of losing my Mom.  It is the day that I allow myself to go "there" to really think and remember all that she means to me- in life and beyond.  But I wanted to share this with you all since my Mom may also have been your sister, your aunt, your friend or even your mother too. Without her there were be no blog being written, someone else fixing up the wreck of the little William Tripp house, and no me for that matter.  I realized when I got to work this morning that I had cried for almost the whole 30+ miles it took to get there while I was thinking about what to write.  Good thing I only allow myself to go "there" once a year!

Christmas 2006

For all the joking that I do about my mother (and that can be a lot) and how she bordered on the "creatively insane" she was the most beautiful, brilliant and interesting woman I have ever known.  After Mary they definitely broke the mold.  It wasn't until we opened Weekend Kitchen and Mom worked on Wednesdays did I truly understand the effect that she had on people.  I thought she was just incredibly annoying to anyone not related to her.  She was always getting herself into troublesome situations that I could only think were self imposed.  But people really took to her.  Customers would return to the shop and rave about how interesting and beautiful she was and that they loved her outfits (courtesy of the Good Will- I might add).  My immediate comment to them was "how long were you held captive?" or "she can go to your house for dinner on Saturday night then".  They usually laughed and dismissed the length of time as being OK and that they had nowhere else to be.  Upon learning of her death quite a few people came in to see me and cry with me.  It was a good healing process.  Even 3 years after her death people still come in to tell me how much they miss her and have a funny story about some encounter they had with her.  In fact just last week someone came in and said "hey-that's Mary (in the picture)- I used to work with her at Phoenix Press".   I said "so you knew Scary Mary?" which was what she said her coworkers called her behind her back.  Admittedly she could be a little scary at times- ask anyone!  When she started to move her lips in a certain manner you knew to run for the hills.  The man was nice enough to say that he had not actually heard this about her.  But really, what were the odds?

It was from these encounters that I realized that "my mommy was not like everyone else's mommy".   For some reason I thought that everyone's mom could make or build stuff.  She was always sawing, nailing or otherwise altering the variety of crap she dragged back from tag sales (a boat hand trailer from a baby carriage might have been her most creative).  She did seem to like to saw the legs off of virtually anything that had them but always seemed to keep the little bits of wood she removed.  But then again she kept EVERYTHING!  For years she collected old screen doors that she hid under the deck of our house in Guilford.  Finally, she made rabbit hutches out of them for the array of bunnies that I kept as a child.  She built a dog house that looked exactly like our house (I can't remember my dad ever building anything at home so it must have been her).  My dad was the fisherman and gardener while Mom made and fixed stuff.  She baked cakes for my Dad's restaurant, sewed pretty much anything even without a pattern (I will never forgive her for the fringe on the slip covers of my couch), she knit sweater upon sweater and spent many hours printing on her old letterpresses.  Where the Hell did she find all that time????  Dave thinks she saved time by never cleaning the house- I think he has something there!

My Mom was an individual from the very start.  She donned a Buck Roger's costume at an early age that I hear she wore until it was thread bear (see above).   She was smarter than the rest of the kids in her class so she was always getting into trouble in school while earning all A's (there was no Gifted and Talented programs then).  I have kept every book report that she wrote in a storage locker.  I could not throw them away as each report had an amazing painted thematic cover.  I look forward to the day that I can take them out again and really read them.  She wrote little children's stories that she illustrated and printed herself on her presses hand setting all the type.

Age about 16 (blonde on left)- sorry about the poor quality of the old photo but you get the idea

Mom was also a party girl as you can see in this picture from when she was a teenager.  Cigarette and beer in hand down on the dock in New London where she grew up (it was this smoking vice that she could never break that eventually took her).  This picture was probably taken after she spent the day sailing on the Thames River.  Incidentally, there is a great story of her swimming across the Thames from New London over to Electric Boat and back with a friend following in a row boat.

Mom at Vassar

Her brilliance took her to Vassar College on full scholarship and then a transfer to Simmons College and the Boston Museum School where she majored in Illustration and Book Design.  After graduating she worked in the publishing field for many years in a variety of positions.  From the age of about 10 she took to letterpress printing.  She had a variety of little Kelsey proof presses and hordes of type and engravings.  I have all this and more awaiting me in that storage facility.  Our new barn will house a print studio where my little company called the Green Grape Press will be housed.  Mom's company was the Paragon Press where she made business cards and wedding invitations for those lucky enough to get them.  The year she worked in the shop she made cards and gift tags-  they were beautiful.  People are still coming in asking if I have more (which I do).  While I cared for her during the 5 months she was sick we had printing lessons every evening.  We spent a lot of time going through all of her the engravings and looking for one with chickens in particular.  Not sure we ever found it though.  I had been asking for printing lessons for years but none ever happened.  She commented that if she had know that I would be such a good student she would have taught me years ago.  I hope to honor her legacy in my own studio and have a few people already interested in what I produce.  I know I will have to take some refresher lessons when the time comes since I am sure there is a lot I have forgotten.

For a few years before Mom got sick she would take her little boat Yassou out in Middle cove and row around with her dog Hooligan in tow.  They cut quite a cute picture rowing up and down the falls river.  On weekends before I had the shop I would follow her in my kayak.  We would paddle for a few hours and had a great time looking for Egrets (especially those in trees).  I am not sure who liked Egrets more, me or Mom, but we always commented when we saw them.

Mom and Hooligan in Yassou-  Middle Cove, Essex

After Mom died I saw Egrets in the weirdest places.  One such time was one flying over the parking lot at Yale just as my bother and his kids were getting into the car after a visit to the lab.  Who sees Egrets in New Haven?  A grouping of 5 flying over the house at the same time my cousin and her son had arrived shortly after she died.  All 5 birds illuminated to the sky.  We also saw one fly over the house the first year after she died while we were having a birthday celebration for her (July 4th).  This occurred right after I finished telling my uncle about my weird encounters with Egrets.  He commented that he was "a believer" after that.    So every year on the anniversary of her death I take to the river and toast the Egrets- a lovely reminder to me of a wonderful mother and cherished friend. 

P.S.  August 1:  We did toast the egrets last night as well as Dave's father (it would have been his birthday) and Sir Harry- the Golden Retriever of a good friend of mine.  Ironically, there was an Egret standing across the street from the house all day in the little frog pond- Coincidence????

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